Channeling Self Harm

Well everyone, I hope you all are having a good night. I need to take my psychiatric medicine and try not to have another day where I scream at everyone in my neighborhood to stop torturing me. I have made good progress in life goals, which used to involve writing and publishing, but then just writing, and now just experiencing the humiliation of Christ and God's jealousy and rage from the Old Testament. There is oddly one more thing that I have figured out, which is a related goal to stay alive until the very end and not commit suicide.  That is something I did not notice about Christ on the cross, not automatically as a suicide theme but that he was alive while dying in an unusual way.  So I will try to do the same. Abandoning my more absurd and grandiose ambitions to not be abused by my entire society seems like a good plan for now and definitely a type of spiritual progress.  It still might be a culminating problem, though, for people who will be found hitting themselves in the corner when my books are finally read in heaven.  Probably already there are already creatures and people in other realms reading about everything we do here and who possibly have hologram machines that create physical replications of us that they can slap when anyone does something stupid. It could also be God's plan for me to fail in many life layers at a time, because he knew I was going to tell evangelicals that their communion might as well be fetal blood after their disregard for people's health care needs, and that I would also tell the democrats that their fetal blood might as well be fetal blood. Speaking of blood, I am thinking about having my gallbladder surgery without the pain medication or anesthesia, just as practice for the war. 

 

²³ And you, Capernaum, will you be lifted to the heavens? No, you will go down to Hades. For if the miracles that were performed in you had been performed in Sodom, it would have remained to this day. ²⁴ But I tell you that it will be more bearable for Sodom on the day of judgment than for you.”